Have you ever been flipping through the tv channels and just come across something so entirely stupid that it mesmerizes you and you have to watch? That happened to me today.
First off, I like reality tv...or at least the original reality tv - you know, when it first hit the air waves, it was different, it was fun. Over the years it became more stupid and you discovered that it really wasn't "reality" at all.
Anyway, I'm flipping channels and end up stopping at MTV (the music channel that shows no music). There is now a reality show for Paris Hilton to find a new "Best Friend Forever".
Yeah, I know - I questioned it too. Is it really necessary for an heiress to have a competition to find a friend? Surely, there are many in her social class to choose from, surely there is a social climber somewhere willing to be her friend.......and, well yes there is!! 12+ to be exact - male & female all vying to be Paris Hilton's BFF.
So I was hooked and continued to watch. First I discover why Paris needs to go this route. She seems really demanding and there are all kinds of rules that go with this job. Mostly though, you need to "trust" her opinion of everything - in other words, she's always right and you need to just say "yes". So naturally this group of wannabes wasn't up to "par" in regards to their looks and dress. So we needed to do makeovers. What happened to friends just accepting each other for whom they are? I mean, if you like someone....then don't you like the "real" them? Shouldn't trust be from both sides?
I could really care less if Paris' finds her BFF or not - nor do I think any of the wannabes really will ever be her BFF. But it made me think of friendship.
I did a post back at the beginning of the year that involved what the Bible says about friends - it basically tells you that you are asking for trouble if you choose the wrong friends. It told you to ask yourself these questions:
Do your friends keep you from living a hundred percent for God?
Do they tear you down, or do they build you up?
Do you find yourself having to conform to things you don't like to do?
At the time I wrote that post, I was having an issue with a group of friends, and the last question really hit home to me. It told me everything I needed to know about those friends. It told me they really weren't my friends.
True friendship is based on honesty, trust, mutual understanding and like for each other. It expands past more than a common interest, it's not spiteful and through the bad times there eventually comes forgiving.
Kim of Knitten-Kittens Blog (see sidebar) is a friend of mine from high school. We met through a mutual church friend and became fast friends. Our Dads worked together, she and I worked together at Burger King. And though sometimes years may have past without our seeing each other, whenever we do - it's like the time has never past. I consider Kim a BFF.
Gwyn is a person I started writing as a penpal way back when....we had a common interest in the band Rosetta Stone ( spin-off Bay City Roller band). A few years past without writing, but one day we were back in touch and both huge Loverboy fans. Then many years past and we discovered the internet and found each other again. We don't email regularly, however, when we do, we never have to reacquaint ourselves with each other - it just continues. I consider Gwyn a BFF. (and in case you are wondering, no we've never met face to face).
Through my Kevin Spacey network, I met many friends (too many of you to mention here ladies); allot of those friendships have gone past the common interest of Kevin Spacey. Those friendships I know will be long lasting.
So my advice to Paris Hilton, if she truly wants a BFF - you need to be a friend first - which sometimes means you don't get to make all the rules. You need to find the common bond and grow from there. And it's not going to happen on a reality show where the competition involves seeing if the wannabe can live "your" life style. Accept people for who they are, and why ONE BF? Have many... life's too short to live in a box with one person...live outside that box...you'll be much happier.